Toddlers, Preschoolers, and Chores: Making the Most of the Helpful Years
By Melissa Holman-Kursky, M.A., M.Ed, A/ET
This week, I had a conversation with a lovely couple about the idea of toddler chores. They knew their son was old enough to start doing simple things around the house, and had a sense that it would be a good idea to start teaching him a little about responsibility, but they didn’t know how to get started with it all. Their son wasn’t really a fan of picking up his toys, per se, and as parents of a toddler, the last thing they were looking for was yet another battle. Beyond that, they weren't sure if asking a toddler to take on regular chores was ridiculous –after all, they're so young!
But toddlerhood, which then extends into the beginning of the preschool-aged years (before age four) is the perfect time to start involving your child in household chores. Toddlers are naturally helpful, and take great pride and joy in knowing they have pleased adults they love. And while enlisting the aid of your preschooler to help with household chores may sound like a chore in itself, it doesn't have to be. (Well, OK, sometimes it is, but not all the time!)
The most important and possibly the hardest part of teaching young children to do chores is to...let them do it. Toddlers and threenagers have the most buy-in when they can do it themselves, which means you might have to bite your tongue just a little. The towels aren't going to be perfectly in thirds. The bed that took twenty minutes to make will have wrinkles on top of its wrinkles. The dog's water bowl will be overflowing or nearly empty. But. BUT! Your child will be one step closer to future independence and pulling their own weight in relationships.
(Interested in learning a little more about why this is the case? Check out this great Psychology Today article explaining about toddlers and helpfulness!)
That's not to say you should just accept anything they do and praise it as wonderful! Even young children are able to sense whether praise is authentic, and they know when they've made an effort, but the key word is effort. Embrace the process of teaching the skill of doing the chore completely, cheer them on as they complete each step, and remind them of what comes next until they learn it for themselves.
"Great! You put a napkin next to each plate. Now, where are the fork and spoon going to go?"
"Let's tear the lettuce for the salad into the big bowl instead of the floor. Nice work!"
"There are four more pieces of clothing that need to make it to the laundry before you start it. Can you find them all?"
The key is setting age-appropriate expectations and then helping kids be successful meeting them. Here are just a few ways toddlers and early preschoolers can help around the house:
Kitchen
- Help clear the table and load the dishwasher
- Wash fruits and veggies
- Tear lettuce, measure shredded cheese, toss salad
- Stir sauces, cookie dough, etc.
- Cut fruit (supervised, if this is something your family is comfortable with)
- Help put away groceries
- Set the table
Laundry
- Match socks
- Fold towels and washcloths
- Sort laundry into piles for washing
- Deliver piles of clean laundry to family members
Cleaning
-Pick up toys and put them where they belong
- Help dust furniture
- Sort recycling
- Water flowers
- Sweep (a kid-sized broom or dustpan and brush are a great way to make this extra fun!)
Looking for a way to track it all? A quick Google for toddler and preschooler chore charts or chore list yield so many; here are some of my favorites:
Arrows & Applesauce - Velcro icons w/ graphics and words
Teaching Littles - I Did My Chores! Chart
A Cultivated Nest - 10 free printable chore charts!
OliHarri Printables - editable task tokens along with a super-cute store with lots of other family organization printables
Kids who learn the value of responsibility and contributing meaningfully to a family…now, isn’t that worth a few wrinkled towels?