Guest Post: How Parents Can Help Children Develop a Growth Mindset

By Shannon Bussnick, LSW

No matter your age, the benefits of adopting a growth mindset can be life-changing. Developing this way of thinking sooner rather than later can truly make a remarkable difference in how an individual views themselves—and the world around them—throughout every stage of life.

Though developing a mindset of growth does not happen overnight, with further understanding, regular exposure to, and increased opportunities for practice, adopting a growth mindset is certainly possible for children, too.  

Teaching children about the importance and benefits of a growth mindset will help to set a strong foundation for them early on—a foundation centered on self-belief and resiliency which other mindsets often fail to do.

Let’s take a look at the many components of a growth mindset and ways to help you and your child dive into this headspace today.

What does it mean to have a Growth Mindset?

A growth mindset is exactly that—a mindset of growth. With continued effort and determination, adopting a mindset of growth can result in increased intelligence, heightened abilities, and a more enriched life.

In the words of Carol Dweck during her memorable TED talk, “The Power of Believing That You Can Improve”: “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” (2015).

Adopting this way of thinking allows an individual to challenge themselves, let go of limiting beliefs or behaviors, and increase their state of emotional intelligence. For children, exposure to this way of thinking early on will play a positive role in their overall development—emotionally, cognitively, physically, and socially.

So, while one person may look at failure as a negative occurrence in their life, someone who looks through a lens of growth will find that failure is simply an opportunity to learn something new—that challenges exist to push us forward, to humble us, and to show us what we are truly capable of (Resilience Inc., 2021).

Components of growth mindset thinking include:

·      Sharing information

·      Collaborating with others

·      Innovating

·      Seeking feedback and accepting criticism

·      Admitting errors and mistakes (Dweck, 2016).

The Dangers of a Fixed Mindset

In order to enter an improved headspace, we must first let go of any beliefs or behaviors that support a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset is the belief that our intelligence and abilities are unchangeable—that we’ve been dealt a particular hand of cards and cannot amount to more—that success is only the result of predetermined talent or intellect and has little to do with the effort one puts in (Miller, 2021).

Looking through a lens of a fixed mindset can negatively impact children and adults in a multitude of ways: An individual may experience strong feelings of self-doubt, have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships, and show resistance towards change or new experiences.

Under the limitations and constraints of a fixed mindset, individuals are unlikely to challenge themselves to learn new concepts and explore different ideas. By never questioning the validity of the data stored within them, or being open to transformation, their worldview remains limited.

For children, repeated exposure to the beliefs and behaviors that support a fixed mindset will influence them in more ways than one and may have a detrimental effect on reaching age-appropriate milestones and developing a positive sense-of-self.

Without a general understanding of growth mindset thinking, children may experience difficulty staying motivated during challenging tasks, accepting feedback from peers or authority figures, and learning new skills or concepts. Later on, a child may have difficulty regulating or navigating their emotions, collaborating with others, and abiding by certain rules or guidelines.

Though living with a fixed mindset may feel safer or less-threatening than adopting a growth mindset, the absence of healthy risk-taking will prevent many positive developments from happening in one’s life (Dweck, 2016).

How Parents Can Help Children Have a Growth Mindset

Parents can help their children develop a growth mindset by first adopting this way of thinking (and living) themselves.

Granted, practicing what you preach does not always happen so easily for a parent but once you start incorporating growth mindset thinking into your daily life, you’ll most likely want to share it with your kids, too.

Parents can help their children develop a growth mindset in the following ways:   

Teach Kids about the Brain and Body

Teaching kids about their brain and body can steer them towards a growth mindset in many ways. Once kids understand that their brains are constantly changing and evolving, it becomes easier to understand that they are too. The more you expose yourself to a new skill, the harder your brain and body work to make that skill easier and more familiar the next time. Kids will be more likely to gravitate to new experiences and explore challenging situations if they know that their brains and bodies are growing and expanding during the process.

Explore Different Mindsets

Learning how to recognize the components of a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset can make it easier for kids to practice new skills and explore new behaviors. If a child sees how their favorite characters respond to a challenge or an obstacle, they may be more in-tune with how words of defeat or victory make them feel. Hearing the words “’I’ll keep practicing!” instead of “I give up.” can highlight many of the key differences between these two mindsets. 

Model a Growth Mindset for Them

The best way to teach kids a growth mindset is to model it yourself. Whether they’re ease-dropping during a chat with your friends or watching how you handle getting a flat tire, children are always absorbing information. Adopting a growth mindset of your own will greatly impact your children and help them to adopt this way of thinking more naturally on their own. Still, it’s helpful to intentionally use statements of self-belief when spending time with your children too. Using statements like “I’m not sure how to do this but I’d like to learn how” can make a big difference in how a child will navigate new experiences.

Talk about Mistakes Openly and Honestly

Naturally as parents we want to protect our children; as a result, we may not dish out the details every time we make a mistake. But sharing our not so perfect selves with our children can help them embrace failure as an opportunity for growth. Letting kids know that it is okay to make mistakes encourages them to persevere through challenging times.

Praise Their Effort as They Learn

Praising a child’s effort throughout the learning process is often more important than the end result. Throughout the learning process, the brain is constantly at work making decisions, trying different strategies, and storing information—in this process is where growth happens. For parents, praising and rewarding effort during times of learning can encourage children to continue engaging in the processes that produce desired outcomes.

Avoid Labels and Limiting Statements

Using statements like “you are so smart” or “she can’t ride a bike” can contribute to the development of a fixed mindset for children. Instead, try reframing the statement by praising the effort rather than the outcome or by using statements of encouragement. You might say, “You worked very hard on that homework assignment” or “she hasn’t learned how to ride a bike yet but we plan on practicing soon.” Sometimes, plugging in an extra word or two—such as, yet—can make a big difference in how our words are interpreted.  

Encourage Positive Self-Talk

Teaching children about the importance of positive self-talk and how to spot the differences between helpful and harmful self-talk can assist them on their journey towards a growth mindset. Developing a healthy inner voice can contribute to increased self-esteem and help children be better equipped to navigate their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. 

Get Creative

Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself alongside your child. Learning how to navigate obstacles side by side can give children a clearer image of how to implement the skills they are learning. There are also many books, programs, and activities available that support the development of a growth mindset for adults and children. (Miller, 2021).

By helping our children broaden their worldview and remaining open to the development of a growth mindset, we are one step closer to ridding ourselves of the fixed mindset mentality and living an overall happier, more enriched life.  

Interested in learning more about helping your child develop a growth mindset? Head here for a free printable of fun activities, books, videos, and other resources to fight fixed mindsets and learn to embrace mistakes!